Co-parenting works well for many separated or divorced parents, especially when their communication remains respectful and both parties are committed to working together for their child’s well-being. But not every relationship is built for cooperative parenting. If there’s high conflict, poor communication or deep mistrust, parallel parenting may be a more realistic and healthy solution.
Parallel parenting is a structured arrangement that minimizes direct interaction between parents while still allowing both to remain actively involved in their child’s life. Instead of coordinating every detail together, each parent manages their own household and parenting time independently. This approach can reduce opportunities for conflict and emotional strain, which in turn creates a more stable environment for the child.
Making this approach work
In a parallel parenting plan, communication is typically limited to written forms such as texts, emails or parenting apps. Tools like OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents help parents stay informed while keeping discussions clear and documented. These platforms can be especially helpful when in-person or phone conversations tend to escalate or become unproductive.
Schedules in a parallel parenting arrangement are usually very specific. Details like pick-up and drop-off times, holiday splits and extracurricular responsibilities are spelled out clearly to avoid confusion or the need for negotiation. This structure gives both parents predictability and allows the child to transition between households without being caught in the middle of disputes.
Parallel parenting is not a sign of failure—it’s a responsible choice when co-parenting just isn’t working. It allows both parents to stay connected to their child without the constant friction that might come with forced collaboration. Over time, if communication improves, the parenting approach can shift toward a more cooperative model.