Parents who share custody typically have to find ways to cooperate with each other. In some cases, they managed to negotiate arrangements on their own that allow them to share decision-making authority and time with their children.
Other times, parents may disagree with one another about the best way to address parental rights and responsibilities. They may need a judge in family court to set the terms for shared custody. Whether they make their own parenting plan or litigate custody matters, parents may eventually need to make adjustments to the way that they share parenting time and legal authority for their children.
When minor adjustments are necessary for short-term, one-off issues, parents can make those minor adjustments on their own without involving the courts. However, in scenarios where the overall breakdown of parenting time or authority requires review and modification, making informal changes can be a major mistake.
The courts enforce the official order
Regardless of what parents may have agreed to in private, the custody order is what legally determines their parental rights and responsibilities. If parents have an amicable enough relationship to make adjustments to custody arrangements with one another, then they can typically cooperate to file an uncontested custody modification request. A judge can review the proposed changes and update the existing custody order to reflect the agreement between the parents.
Without a custody modification, the agreement between the parents is unenforceable. If one parent changes their mind and stops letting the children spend extra time with the other parent, the parent denied access has limited options for asserting themselves.
In fact, they could be at risk of enforcement actions. The other parent could ask the courts to enforce the existing order or might even attempt to report a parental kidnapping when one parent does not return the children on time according to the official custody order.
While text messages and other communication between the parents can help prove that a kidnapping didn’t occur, parents may face embarrassment, expense and conflict because they tried to reach an informal arrangement for the modification of their custody order.
Going back to court to modify a child custody order is often the best option available for parents who share custody. Parents who recognize the risks inherent in informal modification arrangements can better protect themselves and their access to their children.